A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser,...

Joke Of The Day! A Woman Came To Hairdresser Who Was Jealous Of Her Trip With Husband To Rome Joke Of The Day! A Woman Came To Hairdresser Who Was Jealous Of Her Trip With Husband To Rome


 

A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:


“Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

“We’re taking United” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”

“United?” exclaimed the hairdresser. ” That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?”


“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome’s Tiber River called Taste.”

“Don’t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”

“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”


“That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. ”You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”


A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.


“It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of United’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class.


 The food and wine were wonderful, and we had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on us hand and foot..


And the Taste hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!”


“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”


“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet us.


Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me..”


“Oh, really! What’d he say?”

He said: “Who screwed up your hair? 🤣😂

Joke Title: Who Needs Prayers? A lady approaches a priest and tells  him, “Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrot...

DIRTY PARROTS HILARIOUS JOKE: A WOMAN APPROACHES A PRIEST DIRTY PARROTS HILARIOUS JOKE: A WOMAN APPROACHES A PRIEST


Joke Title: Who Needs Prayers? A lady approaches a priest and tells 

him, “Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, 

but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying “Hi, we’re

 hot. Do you want a date?” “That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed. “But I 

do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my

 house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots,… to 

whom I have taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will then 

teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female

 parrots will learn to pray and worship.” So the next day, the lady 

brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. The priest’s two male 

parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady 

puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and 

the female parrots say, “Hi, we’re hot. Do you want a date?” One male 

parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, * * * * * * * * * 

* * * * “Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered !!!!!!

 

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class… “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?” No on...

The teacher asked, Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated The teacher asked, Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated


The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class…
“Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”

Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”

Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued. “As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:

One, you have a dirty mind.  Two, you didn’t read your homework…

… And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.” 

  A 70-year-Old Retired Military officer had one Hobby….. He loved to Fish. He was sitting in His Boat the other Day when He heard A voice...

A 70-year-Old Retired Military Officer Had One Hobby. A 70-year-Old Retired Military Officer Had One Hobby.

 

A 70-year-Old Retired Military officer had one Hobby….. He loved to Fish.

He was sitting in His Boat the other Day when He heard

A voice says, ‘Pick Me Up.’

He looked around and couldn’t see Anyone.

He thought He was Dreaming

When He heard the Voice say again,

”Pick me up. ‘

He looked in the Water and There…Floating on the top, was a Frog.

The Retd Officer said,

‘Are You talking to Me?’

The Frog said,

‘Yes, I’m talking to You. Pick Me up, then Kiss Me; and I’ll turn into the Most Beautiful Woman you have ever seen. I’ll make sure that all Your friends will be envious and jealous because I will be Your Bride!’

The Retired Officer looked at the Frog for a short time, reached over…..Picked it up Carefully and…….

Placed it in His Shirt Pocket.

The Frog said,

‘What, are you Nuts?

Didn’t You hear what I Said?’

I said, ‘Kiss me,

And I will be Your Beautiful Bride.’

He opened His Pocket,

Looked at the Frog and said,

‘Nah. I’d Rather like to have a Talking Frog

Than a Nagging Wife..

With Age Comes Wisdom & Experience

Bubba and Billy Joe were on vacation, walking downtown, window shopping, and they see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.99 each,...

Bubba and Billy Joe were on vacation Bubba and Billy Joe were on vacation


Bubba and Billy Joe were on vacation, walking downtown, window shopping, and they see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.99 each, shirts $1.99 each, trousers $2.49 each.


Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Joe, Lookee here! We could buy a whole gob o’ these, take ‘em back to Georgia, sell 'em and make a fortune.


 Just let me do the talkin', 'cause if they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant, and not wanna sell that stuff to us.”


Now, I'll talk in a slow Texas drawl so's they don't know we is from Georgia."


They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Texas drawl, “I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.99, 100 of them there shirts at $1.99, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.39. I'll back up my pickup and...."


"The owner of the shop interrupts, "Y'all from Georgia, ain't ya?"


"Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba. "How come y'all knowed that?"


"Because this is a Dry-Cleaners." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👍🙈

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20 for their first lovemaking encounter. In hi...

ENCOUNTER ENCOUNTER

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.     This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for the next 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.    Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.     Over the next few minutes, he explained that his company had gone through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go - It was unlikely that at the age of 55, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.    Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed thirty years of deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million.     Then, she showed him stock certificates issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were the largest stockholders in the bank.     She explained that for 30 years, she had charged him for sex and these holdings were the results of her savings and investments.    Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!".     You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Granniesjokes.com


On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. 


This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for the next 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.


Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. 


Over the next few minutes, he explained that his company had gone through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go - It was unlikely that at the age of 55, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.


Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed thirty years of deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. 


Then, she showed him stock certificates issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were the largest stockholders in the bank. 


She explained that for 30 years, she had charged him for sex and these holdings were the results of her savings and investments.


Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!". 


You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.