A donkey was tied to a tree. A demon came and released it. The donkey entered the field of a farmer and began to eat everything. The farm...
Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent. From my purchase, this chap took off 10 percent. I asked for the cause of a lesser amount; A...
A Senior's Rhyme
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She...
Blonds Don't Make the Best Helpers
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” “How about 50 dollars?” said the blonde.
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.
” A short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered,
“and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached into his wallet for the 50 dollars. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porsche; it’s a Ferrari!
A man gets stopped by a police officer for doing 31 in a 30 zone The police man asks what the man’s job is. The man says ‘I’m an asshole...
A man gets stopped by a police officer for doing 31 in a 30 zone
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, ...
A Man Was Sick And Tired Of Going To Work.
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed,
Dear Lord,
“I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies.” God, in His infinite wisdom, granted man’s wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out money to pay the power bill and telephone bill, drove to the power company and the phone company and paid the bills, went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries.
He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 pm. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing greens for a salad breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 pm. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back.”
The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied,
“My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You’ll have to wait 9 months, though. You got pregnant last night.”
A woman tries getting on a bus, but realizes her skirt is too tight. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware...
A Pencil Skirt
A woman tries getting on a bus, but realizes her skirt is too tight.
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
She tried to take the step, but only to discover that she couldn't.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind herself to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
After becoming quite frustrated and embarrassed, she once again attempted to unzip her skirt a bit more in order to allow more leg room to get on the first step of the bus.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan removed his hat smiled and drawled "Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you...
But...
After you unzipped my fly three times I kinda figured we were friends 😉 Best of friends"
😅🤣😂
Joke From irish's Giggles & Fun
😅🤣😂
An 70-year-old married a 20-year-old. A year after the wedding the couple arrives at the delivery room. A male boy weighing 3.5 kg was bor...
The Fertile 70 Year Old
A state trooper pulled over a car going just 19 miles per hour on the highway. As the officer approached the car, he noticed it was two e...
Highway Speed Trap – Joke
A state trooper pulled over a car going just 19 miles per hour on the highway. As the officer approached the car, he noticed it was two elderly women and they both looked very pale and wide-eyed.
“Good afternoon ladies. Do you know why I am pulling you over?” asked the trooper.
“I’m terribly sorry if I did something wrong but I know I was not speeding” said the driver.
“Well, that is true, you weren’t speeding…but you were going entirely too slow on a highway and that is equally as dangerous.”
“No, Officer. I was going exactly the speed limit…19 miles per hour!”
The trooper laughed a little to himself. “Mam’, this is Highway 19. That is not the speed limit, but simply the name of this highway.”
Very embarressed, the elderly driver grinned and thanked the trooper over and over for informing her of the mistake.
“But before I let you go, I have to ask… are you guys feeling okay? You both look awfully shaken.”
“Oh sure, we will be fine. We just got off of Highway 120”
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